When I had my my good friend and colleague, Amy Slater on the Are You menstrual? podcast our main focus was encouraging moms to support and nourish their health and bodies, which isn’t always easy when you’re a mom. There is often a lot on your plate when you’re a mom, which is why I think so many people refer to moms as superheroes. But what about when you don’t feel like a superhero? When you’re drained, not handling stress well, and not seeing an end in sight, it can be really hard and leave you searching for answers. Is there a diet that could help? Or maybe a supplement? Most of the time, it comes down to changes in how you view food and your day to day life. Here are a few things that I think can help build resilience in motherhood.
A popular phrase is that we cannot pour from an empty cup and I think many people think about self care, but the first thing I think of is nourishment. We will literally run out of energy and our bodies will be fueled by stress hormones. Then we wonder why we feel so burnt out and eventually hit a wall. It’s often because we are feeding and doing things for everyone else and not ourselves. What if we prioritized our nourishment just as much as everyone else’s? Depending on the season of motherhood you are in, this will often look different. As a new mom, I used to make nursing muffins and eat that first thing after I woke up when I was nursing my daughter then eat a full breakfast a couple hours later. Now that she is 18 months old, we make breakfast together after we get outside and get a couple minutes of light in our eyes. Cooking with an 18 month old can be wild but it can also be fun, especially once you build a routine around it. We don’t follow a rigid schedule most days, but our morning (and all meal time) routine is the same. This allows me to get myself fed right away before the day gets started, notifications start come in, and people need me. I know I will feel better and be a better mom if I prioritize that, which is why I am protective of my mornings and this routine. Will this shift when I have two kids soon? I’m sure it will and I will be happy to share what that looks like in the future. I have friends that have a small snack and do some playing/reading and then make a full breakfast and that works best for their family. Experimentation and curiosity of what will be the best for you is key!
I know people say this a lot but I really mean it. It is so easy to lose time and energy scrolling on your phone. I personally have found it’s not good for my relationship with my daughter and how our days go, so it’s something I limit as much as I can. It’s actually one of the hardest parts of my husband being deployed, which may sound weird but I spend a lot more time on my phone since I don’t want to miss a message or a call. And you know how it goes. You go to check your phone for messages and then the next thing you know you’ve been on Instagram for 20 minutes. The days I spend less time on my phone I am in a much better mood and so is my daughter. Many of us work from our phones and stay connected to friends and family this way, so it can be hard to find a balance, but having certain times where I use my phone and others where I put it away has been helpful. For example, in the morning I get up and I will usually send my husband a picture of our daughter when we are making breakfast and sometimes he can respond and we share a few texts. Then the phone goes away. A few hours later my daughter will have a snack and do some independent play and this is when I will do an Instagram post, respond to messages from my team, and get as much work done as I can in about a 45 minute period. Then the phone goes away. Once I get her down for her nap a few hours later, I will often check my phone before I get my work done and we typically do a call with my husband in the evening time after nap. This is a good day. Some days I use my phone more if there’s something going on with work, family, etc. But the days I use it less I notice a lot less stress. If you can, limit time on your phone, especially scrolling. I think calling or texting loved ones is different, but it can still add up and then leave you vulnerable to opening addictive social media apps.
It doesn’t matter if it’s sunny, rainy, cloudy, hot, or cold. It’s always beneficial and helpful for our mental and physical health to get outside. Taking breaks outside (even really short ones) is helpful for matching up our brains with our circadian rhythm, which supports hormone health (more on this in an upcoming podcast episode in December!). An objection I often hear with getting outside is that there’s too much to be done inside, which I totally get since it often feels like there is always something I could be doing whether that be around the house or for work. I would challenge you to prioritize even an hour outside a day. So many of us realize how important it is for our kids to spend time outside, but it’s also important for adults. There are so many benefits like getting good light exposure, collecting nourishing electrons from nature, and typically reducing our stress hormones.
It’s easy to focus on getting everything done and marking things off your to do list, but who is that serving? Do all of those things really matter? Are there things that would help you thrive that are not on that list? How could you prioritize those? Being a mom isn’t easy but it is incredibly transformative and rewarding. It can require us to make hard decisions and do things differently, which is often the best thing for our health.
Listen to the podcast episode with Amy Slater here! Want to dig more into stress? Here is a great podcast episode about building resiliency around stress that you may also find helpful.
reminder: i’m currently taking on 1:1 clients. if you’d like to explore what it would be like to work together and if we are a good fit, fill out this form to get more details!
