In this episode, I am sharing my second daughter, Amaia’s birth story. I will also be answering questions this community submitted on IG! This is my birth experience and I will say, I had a beautiful birth at home, it could not have gone better. My first birth was very painful, I thought about giving up multiple times, and had a lot of fear in the beginning. I held a lot of resentment for a while about the pain I went through but I’ve come to change my tune and be grateful for that birth. Katelyn from Happy Homebirth Podcast once told me you have the birth you need. Making the transition from maiden to mother the first time is a lot, at least it was for me. The painful birth prepared me and gave me a little taste for what was ahead. I love being a mom and my entire life revolves around my girls, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard. It has changed me in ways I couldn’t imagine. If your birth was challenging, I hope it changed you for the better too.
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Amanda Montalvo [00:00:01]:
Welcome to the Are You Menstrual podcast, where we dive deep into all things women’s health to support you on your healing journey. I’m Amanda Montalvo, functional and integrative dietitian, also known as the hormone healing Rd. If you enjoyed this podcast and you want to keep learning, check out the podcast Patreon, where I share a bonus episode with additional downloadable resources. Each week you can go to patreon.com, hormonehealingrd or check out the link in the show notes. Okay, we have our birth story episode. I am sharing my second daughter Amaia’s birth story today, and I have her right here. So if you’re watching on YouTube, you can see the little mush strapped to my chest where she pretty much lives. And I’m also going to answer a few questions.
Amanda Montalvo [00:00:51]:
I tried to answer a lot of the questions throughout that were submitted on Instagram, but I also save some at the end. So, like, just in case I don’t fully answer them, I promise I will. And I just want to start by saying, because I had the hard time with my first birth and taking it in after and not feeling sad that I didn’t have this, like, pain free, blissful birth experience. And so I just want to say this is my birth experience, and I don’t know. I had a beautiful home birth. It couldn’t have gone better. And sometimes I almost feel guilty for that, but I don’t want to, so. And I know any mom listening would be like, you shouldn’t feel guilty for that.
Amanda Montalvo [00:01:34]:
I just have so much empathy for people that have an extremely hard birth and traumatic birth. I have very close friends and family members that had that experience. It’s actually what pushed me towards doing a home birth. When my young, my oldest nephew was born, I was there, and it was like, a lot. I feel like I had a little bit of birth trauma after that. And so I just, I’ve always want those people to know that I think that our birth experience is the one that we need. And that’s actually Caitlin from Happy Home birth podcast. I shared Eliana, my oldest daughter’s birth story, on her podcast after she was born.
Amanda Montalvo [00:02:15]:
And she said to me, she’s, you have the birth you need, not like the one that you want, typically. And I was like, I sat with that for a really long time and was like, oh, my gosh, that is, like, too true, because, you know, it’s your first. When it’s your first baby, you have such a big transition. Like, you’re going from maiden to mother your whole life is completely changing, and you change yourself. So, for me, Eliana’s birth was extremely painful. And I was like, I imagine this beautiful home birth experience, and I think about it now, and I’m like, it was beautiful. It was just hard, and it was really painful, and it shook me to my core. But it did start to set me up for motherhood.
Amanda Montalvo [00:03:00]:
The transition from maiden to mother, for me was a lot. Most women I talked to have that similar experience. And so after hearing that from Caitlin and talking with her about my birthday, I really felt so much better about it, because I was like, man, that is so true. My husband deployed when she was only ten weeks old, and it was. I did. I wouldn’t. And then she had, like, feeding issues. She had tongue and lip ties.
Amanda Montalvo [00:03:25]:
She couldn’t nurse. At first, it was. She lost so much weight. It was terrible. The beginning was so stressful, and then, like, I had a super painful burst. My body’s, like, trying to recover. My mind is trying to recover, and so is my nervous system. And so I looking back now, I’m like, that really did prepare me for what was to come and gave me a little taste of it and showed me that I can do this and I can do really hard things and persevere.
Amanda Montalvo [00:03:50]:
And so just want to say that to anyone, because I’m going to share a pretty chill birth. And I’m like, thank God, because that first one, man, it was rough. So I just want to preface that if it. Don’t be discouraged if your birth wasn’t this way. My first wasn’t. And I learned so much from that first experience and just from being a mom, honestly, like, people are like, what’d you do to prepare for birth? I’m like, had a first child and learned how to be a mom and get through a bunch of hard things and figure out, like, childcare and how to not take care of Eliana by myself and get through deployments and all that stuff. And it really did prepare me for the second birth. And I love being a mom, and literally my entire life revolves around my girls, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard.
Amanda Montalvo [00:04:35]:
And so I am grateful for that first experience, and I do look at it as beautiful now. So the one I’m about to share with you could be triggering if you had a really awful birth. Cause for me, it was hard to listen to those really positive stories after. Cause I was like, man, that is not the experience that I had. Especially that initial first week postpartum when Eliana wouldn’t latch. So it was a whole thing. But how Amaia’s birth started. So I was.
Amanda Montalvo [00:05:03]:
She went to. She was born 40 weeks plus one, exactly what Eliana was. And I kept having. I had so many Braxton hicks with her. It was like, I kept thinking she was coming. I even had some contractions and stuff, and then they would stop, and it was like a tease. Like, yeah, she was coming. I notify my team.
Amanda Montalvo [00:05:21]:
I had my mom come. It was, like, ridiculous. And then it was, like, another week, and I’m like, all right. So I thought she was gonna come a little early because of all the Braxton hicks, but now I think all those Braxton hicks were just, like, made the birth go so much faster, because it was a very fast birth. So it officially started. Like, it was truly starting. Saturday night. It was March 2.
Amanda Montalvo [00:05:47]:
She was born the next day. I thought it was going to happen for sure. I kept waking up with contractions, but they weren’t crazy strong. But I was like, it’s starting, it’s coming. So I was like, I’m gonna go back to sleep so I can get my sleep, because I labored all night with eliana, and I was awake all night, and then I was exhausted when I had to push her out. So I tried to get as much sleep as I could, and then at three in the morning, I was, like, really uncomfortable. Like, they were getting pretty strong, and I’m like, I can’t lay in bed anymore. So I went to the living room, and I was, like, on the floor, the couch, moving around.
Amanda Montalvo [00:06:18]:
I told my husband, I was like, can you just see this happening? Because he was, like, in bed. I was like, I’m gonna go in the living room because I don’t want to be, like, loud and wake Eliana up. And then I told my midwife and everything. We thought she was coming, like, in the next couple hours, because I was like, he literally. But this is, like, who my husband is. I tell him that it’s, like, probably starting to happen, and it’ll probably happen for sure. Like, I was like, she will for sure be warned today. So it’s, like, very early in the morning, and he immediately blows up the birth tool and birth pool and fills it up.
Amanda Montalvo [00:06:50]:
I’m like, I’m not going to need that yet. And then the water is going to be cold, and then my contractions go away. It’s just, like, hilarious. And he’s, you need to do something done. So he had to empty the birth pool. I’m, like, sitting on the couch and I started, my contractions were, like, still strong, but I was like, she’s not gonna come yet. And, like, the birth team isn’t here, so he’s emptying the pool, and I just start crying, and I’m like, I don’t really know why I’m crying. And then I sit there, and I’m like, oh, my gosh, everything’s gonna change with eliana.
Amanda Montalvo [00:07:21]:
Like, it hit me, and so many people had asked me, like, oh, my gosh, are you nervous for having two? And I was like, not really. Cause I just don’t know what to expect. So I just don’t know. Like, I don’t have anything to be nervous about because I’m not sure what it’s going to be like. And I hadn’t thought about it an incredible amount because I, like, what’s the point in stressing about this if I’m. If it might not even be stressful if I don’t know what’s going to happen? I just don’t like wasting my energy like that or my minerals. So I didn’t really worry about it. But then it all hit me right then.
Amanda Montalvo [00:07:50]:
And I had journaled about what my fears were leading up to my birth. I did that with eliana, too. What am I afraid of that could possibly happen during my birth? What am I afraid of with motherhood? All that stuff. But it’s interesting, because I did not journal about this. And I don’t know if I was just, like, too. It was just too much. Like, I just couldn’t even think about it. But once I really thought about it, I talked about it with my husband.
Amanda Montalvo [00:08:14]:
I was like, oh, my gosh, what’s. What are we going to do? How am I still going to get time with her? And I felt way better after. And then my contractions stopped, and Eliana woke up, like, a couple hours later. So I, like, we had breakfast. We chilled out in the morning. My mom was there. She came, like, a few days or she came five days before because I thought I was gonna. I thought I was gonna go into labor, and then I didn’t, and she just stayed, which was awesome.
Amanda Montalvo [00:08:39]:
Cause I was, like, not sure if she was gonna definitely be there when I had. When I was giving birth, because she lives 2 hours away, two and a half hours away. So it was real. It was perfect timing. And then we Eliana, like, we all hung out. We were, like, playing outside in the backyard, and I got lots of one on one time with her. That was, like, all I wanted after, like, I had that of epiphany in the morning. And then I was like, all right.
Amanda Montalvo [00:09:03]:
I was just so pregnant. I need this to happen now. I gotta get this baby out. So I go outside, and I start moving around, doing a bunch of, like, squats and exercises and playing with Eliana. I’m, like, doing step ups on the little bench that we have out there, and those really, I know people say go up and down stairs, but I wanted to be outside. I’m like, I don’t want to be in the house because you spend a lot of time inside right after you have a baby. And so I, like, just want to be outside in the sun. And so I was out there, and the contractions started, like, immediately.
Amanda Montalvo [00:09:37]:
They weren’t super strong and they weren’t really consistent. But I was like, if I keep doing this, the baby will come. So I was like, I’m going to go inside for lunch, have one more meal before I give birth so I can be super nourished and not worry about eating during birth. A lot of people ask what I ate. I did not eat anything during birth because it was basically, I had lunch, and then, like, not even an hour later, I, like, started to really have super strong contractions. I was, like, eating lunch and being like, I’m, like, in labor right now, but I’m just going to keep eating. But they weren’t. It wasn’t.
Amanda Montalvo [00:10:09]:
I wouldn’t call it, like, active labor or anything. It was definitely, like, early labor. They started getting stronger and stronger, but they were so far apart. And then as soon as I had to stand up and lean on the counter, I was like, yeah, it’s happening. It’s coming. This baby’s going to be here soon. And I said to my husband, and so he filled up the birth pool, because I was like, I like to use the water. A lot of people ask about pain management.
Amanda Montalvo [00:10:31]:
I really like to use the water as, like, my kind of, like, how I deal with pain. The warm water feels so good for me. I love it. I like the bath. I have used the shower, like, I used to shower a lot with Eliana’s birth, but I just, we had the tub right there, and I’m like, just fill it. This baby’s coming soon. I can tell. And it’s.
Amanda Montalvo [00:10:50]:
When. It’s so funny and so. Same thing with Eliana. That was my first birth. I finally, like, when one, it finally was starting to happen. I was like, this is her strong. She’s coming soon. So I was standing at the counter.
Amanda Montalvo [00:11:00]:
I’m like, like, it’s like, a little after one, and I’m like, this baby’s coming. Fill that birth tub. I get inside. Things slow down, but I’m like, that’s okay, because I wanted some pain relief in the beginning, and then I felt so much better. Like, immediately. Like, I could relax a little bit, and I’m like, okay. And then I stayed in the tub for the rest of that time. I don’t think I got out again because it happened very fast.
Amanda Montalvo [00:11:23]:
So they started to slow down a little bit, but then I could, like, started getting strong contractions because I’d move around in the tub. I like to rock my hips a lot when I’m giving birth, which makes sense, because it can help with positioning and opening up, like, your fascia and your pelvis and stuff. So I do a lot of that. I was, like, rocking back and forth. I sit straight up and really open up. And this is, like, where the bow spring piece comes in. I’m gonna do a podcast episode with this woman, Paris latke, that I’m taking her bowspring course. I wish I found her sooner, because I’ve been practicing bowspring for.
Amanda Montalvo [00:11:58]:
At the time of Maya’s birth, it was, like, almost, like, eight months, and I still didn’t really fully understand it. I still benefited from it, but I was like, I’m missing so many things in my practice, and I just couldn’t find classes that were helpful. I’m like, why? I just need someone to explain this. And then my nutritionist, Erin, found Paris, and she’s like, you got to take her course. The best thing ever. You’ll fully understand bow spring. And so I didn’t take it until after Maya was born, but I did have enough of an understanding of bow spring, and it’s all about your posture and your fascia and how you can, like, really improve your fascia, your fascia health and everything, with, like, how you are, like, carrying yourself, how you move your body, things like that. And so I thought about that posture and that really open posture the whole time.
Amanda Montalvo [00:12:49]:
There were two things I thought about my having an open posture, because when I’m in pain, I want to close off and get comfortable and make myself, like, feel good. And with Eliana’s birth, I very much tried to protect myself for a really long time. I was so painful. I had really bad back labor, and so I was, like, so closed off and crunched, and I would try to open up my pelvis and relax my pelvic floor, but I couldn’t do it. Because I was not in a good position. And so I know that now, but at the time, I didn’t really understand it. But again, like, you become a mom, you learn that you’re protecting others now, and it’s like this whole thing. And so I really opened up my posture.
Amanda Montalvo [00:13:30]:
If my contractions started to chill out and not be as strong, I would just open up, and immediately, they were super strong again. And so finally, I got sick of myself after an hour in the birth tub, and I was like, all right, you know what? It’s now or never. I either totally lean into the pain and accept that it’s gonna hurt, but that I will meet my daughter soon, or I can sit here and try to protect myself and then still be in pain anyway and have a similar birth to my first. And so I was, like, constantly opening up. That really helped my contractions get super strong. And at this point, my midwife. Oh, God. I didn’t mention when they came, so I didn’t let anyone in the house because I didn’t want to.
Amanda Montalvo [00:14:16]:
I was very protective of my environment this time. Last time, there were so many people there. My midwife had a birth assistant. She also had, like, student midwife with her. It was. There were so many people, and it was stressful, and so this time, I was like, I had my duel last time. I did not have a duel this time. I just feel like, when you’re a second time, mom.
Amanda Montalvo [00:14:34]:
Like, I just didn’t need it. I was like, I need my husband. I need my mom to be there to help with eliana, and I need my main midwife, Laura from Ohana midwifery in North Carolina. Cannot recommend them enough if you live in North Carolina. And I didn’t want anyone else, and I. It’s like, the birth assistant, jenny, is amazing. But I was like, I can’t have this many people in my home. I need it to be as chill.
Amanda Montalvo [00:14:58]:
I need to be able to. I need no one to talk to me. And I had this conversation with them like it was in my birth plan, and we talked about this at length beforehand, so I didn’t have to explain anything to anyone. And so they just let me and my husband, and she was just. She. The midwife did come inside when I was like, she’s coming soon. So I said, you can get Laura. And so then she came inside.
Amanda Montalvo [00:15:20]:
I was in the tub. Things were. I was, like, finally feeling. I wanted to push, but this is the important part. I got a lot of questions on, like, coping with pain. What did you do to your pelvic floor leading up. Did you do pelvic floor work? Did you see, like, a pelvic floor therapist, a PT? I mean, we’re always doing pelvic floor work, is what I want to say to everyone. I’m like, you’re never not.
Amanda Montalvo [00:15:46]:
You know, you’re using your pelvic floor. So I do strength training, and I’m constantly aware of my pelvic floor while I’m strength training. And because I’ve done that for so long, I’m aware of my pelvic floor pretty much all the time, because a big part of, like, stress and, like, tightness and stuff, for me comes from, and I think this is for most women, comes on their pelvic floor. So I’ll notice, like, I’m tightening my glutes, which means I’m definitely tightening my pelvic floor, and then I’ll relax it. I’ll pay attention to how am I breathing? Is my breath, like, short and stressed? My breathing through my mouth? Relax. That means my pelvic floor is gonna be tight. So then relax. Am I clenching my jaw? Definitely gonna have a tight pelvic floor.
Amanda Montalvo [00:16:26]:
My resting position. I put my tongue on my roof and the roof of my mouth, that immediately relaxes my jaw, and I can literally feel my pelvic floor drop when I do that. So I do have a great awareness of my pelvic floor. I don’t necessarily. I wasn’t, like, doing pelvic floor exercises only because, like, I have. I’ve done pelvic floor breathing and stuff through strength training for so long, and I. I know how to relax my pelvic floor, that I didn’t do anything differently, because I feel like we should always be conscious of it, if that makes sense. But the one thing that.
Amanda Montalvo [00:16:59]:
The other thing I thought about other than, like, the bow spring, the open posture, and not, like, closing myself off and being scared, was relax my pelvic floor. Because the first time I gave birth, I did not understand the pushing thing. And I think you won’t really understand it until you’re in it. But I got the urge to push, and I pushed and I pushed and I pushed for two and a half hours with Eliana. I had a lot of pelvic floor tightness after I gave birth. It was. She did. It was not easy to get her out.
Amanda Montalvo [00:17:29]:
I just wish I understood that. You’re just supposed to relax it the whole time. I wish someone said that to me, and I don’t even know where I heard it. I think I was, like, on Instagram or something, or maybe it was a podcast. I wish I could remember. But the woman said the only thing I. The woman said, the only thing that I tried to keep in my mind when I was birthing was to let my uterus do all the work. And no other muscle in my body should be tensed or tight except for my uterus when pushing, because our uterus knows what it’s doing, and it’ll push whether you’re pushing or not.
Amanda Montalvo [00:18:04]:
And the best thing that you can do is to relax your pelvic floor so it lengthens, and then that makes it much easier for the baby to come out. So that’s what I thought of the whole entire time. And obviously I did not. I tensed other muscles like it was painful. So I’m like, on all four, I was on all fours for a little while, and then I was holding onto the side of the birth tub for pretty much the whole time that I felt that urge to push. And I clenched my hands on the side of the tub and just focused on relaxing my pelvic floor. And it. Sometimes I had a really hard time with it, if it was a really strong one, and then I would.
Amanda Montalvo [00:18:41]:
It would tighten up and not lengthen, and I wouldn’t make as much progress. So I focused so, so hard on that. I didn’t talk to anyone. I just had my husband right next to me, touching me. So I knew he was there. I didn’t even know Laura’s in the room, honestly. And the midwife. And that was it.
Amanda Montalvo [00:18:57]:
Eliana played outside with my mom. It was only like, it started at one super strong. That’s when I was like, okay, play with her outside, put her down for a nap, whatever you want to do, because this is happening. And then I had Amaia at 317. So it was like, just over 2 hours of, like, intense birthing. And it was. It progressed very quickly, but I don’t think it would have if I was, like, closed off, scared. Fear and pain.
Amanda Montalvo [00:19:22]:
Obviously, I was still in pain like the first time. And then just really all I thought about just how can I relax my pelvic floor? And it’s so funny because the first. After the first time I gave birth with Eliana, my whole body was so sore, all my muscles, like, I felt like I used to compete in Crossfit. I felt like I had just done three back to back crossfit competitions. That’s how sore I was, because I was so tensed and tight and working so hard. And this time, only my upper body was so sore because I was squeezing the top of the birth tub, but my legs were not sore. Nothing else hurt. Was out of balance.
Amanda Montalvo [00:19:58]:
It was really cool. And I was like, holy crap, that’s a really big difference. So if you’re gonna. If anyone cares about my advice, if someone were to say to me, if there was, like, one piece of advice you could give someone during birth, what would it be? I would say, open up your body, be mindful of your posture, and if you’re closing off, and to focus just on relaxing your pelvic floor. If you do those two things, it’ll be so much easier. And I had shared a lot of this in some Instagram stories after I had Amaia. And I had this woman reach out to me saying, like, she had just seen my stories, like, right before she was about to give birth. And she’s.
Amanda Montalvo [00:20:37]:
I did the pelvic floor thing, and it worked. It was her first baby, and it happened so fast, and I was like, good for you. I wish that I understood. Said that better the first time, but that was the biggest thing. So started out, one, started to close off. I was in pain, I was scared. Immediately changed my tune, because I just think about how it’s. Listen, like, I.
Amanda Montalvo [00:20:57]:
One, I wanted to meet her. Two, I was like, I’m a mom now, and how am I going to show up for my kids? That’s how I wanted to show up at this. So I think if you can think about it, like, that can be really helpful. It helped me a ton. I was like, all right. As soon as I thought about that, I was like, I’m ready. Let’s do this. Let’s open up, relax, and get this baby here.
Amanda Montalvo [00:21:16]:
And as far as a few people had more specific questions, I didn’t cover. I did tear. I did tear again. I tried so hard. I didn’t. I wasn’t pushing. It was really cool to not be pushing, but still feel the push. It was weird.
Amanda Montalvo [00:21:30]:
It was weird. But I did still tear. Amaia was pretty big. I mean, her head was a little bigger than Eliana’s, I think, and she was, like, almost eight and a half pounds. Almost the same exact size as Eliana, but two inches longer. So she’s very long, like dad, but, yeah. So I did tear in the same exact spot. I only won, though.
Amanda Montalvo [00:21:51]:
I didn’t tear my labia this time, thank God. But it wasn’t that bad. It was basically the same exact. It was like. It was definitely like a stage one, but not quite stage two. So I didn’t do stitches. I didn’t do them last time either. Healed great.
Amanda Montalvo [00:22:04]:
Just keep your legs closed is what my midwife told me. I did do sits baths, after which I loved. I did not do that the first time. The first time, postpartum Deliana, I was, like, in survival mode because she couldn’t nurse, and she was losing a bunch of weight, and she was, like, super. I could barely wake her up. It was the worst time of my life. This time was very chill. My ate like a monster, so.
Amanda Montalvo [00:22:27]:
And she came really fast. I wasn’t in pain, so I feel like it healed even quicker and easier, and I was actually able to do stuff like I wanted. I had the space in my brain to be like, oh, I really want to do a sits bath. Like, that would be really nice right now. Whereas with Eliana, I was just like, I don’t care about anything else. I had to figure out how to get this girl to eat and gain weight and be okay. And, like, we were dealing with all the tongue and lip tie stuff. It was very stressful, but I still healed okay.
Amanda Montalvo [00:22:52]:
But this time I was able to be much more mindful. So the sits bath was great. I’ll link to the one that I used. There’s a few different ones. I don’t think you can really go wrong if you just do, like, a postpartum herbal sits bath. They’re all going to be. Have similar herbs in them and then others. So I feel like I covered, like, the coping with pain piece.
Amanda Montalvo [00:23:10]:
Oh, the other thing for coping with pain, do what your body wants to do. You’ll know what needs to happen if you just don’t talk to anyone else and just really listen. Like, I. That’s like, when you just. You’ll automatically start moving. Like you’re, you know, like, when I’m in pain, I, like, rock my hips a lot. I’m trying to make space. I don’t even know that I’m not, like, choosing to do it.
Amanda Montalvo [00:23:30]:
My body’s just doing it. So I think, just follow your intuition with the pain piece. I love water, hot water. And then your mindset, like, welcome the challenge, because this is preparing you for motherhood. This is a part of your transition, and it doesn’t have to be scary. It’s okay to have something. It’s so transformational. Be really hard.
Amanda Montalvo [00:23:52]:
It makes sense that it’s hard. And I took a pain free birth course the first time, so I think I just was like, I was. I don’t recommend it. I just don’t think it’s the right mindset to be in because then you experience all this pain and you’re trying to use all the tools you learned, but sometimes nothing works and you just have to go within yourself. I have compiled all of my favorite and I think best to get started with mineral resources in one place. And that is my minerals 101 guide. This is a free guide that I will share my screen for those that are watching the video version of this podcast and go through with you quickly now. So I basically wanted a place where like, if someone’s new to my podcast, my Instagram, and you’re like, wow, she mentions minerals a lot.
Amanda Montalvo [00:24:40]:
And I, you know, I can go off on tangents and talk about how they’re so important for different things. I wanted a place where you could just download this quick guide and get right into, okay, what are minerals? How do they affect our hormones? How do they get depleted in the first place? How can we test them? And then I have additional learning and resources depending on the topics that you want to get into. But I think this is definitely the best way to get started with all my content that I share, especially if you’re brand new here and you’re like, I don’t even know where to get started with minerals. Start here and I promise that you won’t be confused and you’ll know what are the next steps to take. And if you have specific health concerns, you’ll see. See at the very end of the guide here I go through. Okay, so if you want to take our mineral quiz, if you have thyroid health concerns, if you have period concerns, if you just want to hear from me on a regular basis, here’s my newsletter. So I tried to put everything in one place.
Amanda Montalvo [00:25:33]:
I also have mineral deep dive podcast episodes that I link to if you want to get into specific minerals as well. But I highly recommend downloading the guide. I put a lot of work into it and I think it’s a perfect place to get started. So you can go to the link in the show notes, the minerals 101 guide and get started now. What I eat and drink? Nothing. I mean, I just, I drank adrenal cocktails during I think. But honestly, like it happened really fast, so I didn’t really worry about that this time. Last time I mostly just drank adrenal cocktails.
Amanda Montalvo [00:26:05]:
I didn’t really want to eat, but I like went into labor late at night, like it was like 10:00 so I had already eaten all day, so it wasn’t a big deal. A lot of people asked about the birth of the placenta. Did I have cramping? Did the midwife tug on the cord? Did I eat it? Did we save them both? I still have elianas in the freezer. I don’t consume my placenta. I don’t know. I don’t really have a scientific reason as to why. I just have never wanted to. I always want to save them because I think they’re really special.
Amanda Montalvo [00:26:36]:
I know some people, like, bury them in the yard. We’re going to do something very weird with them. And I’m like, do I want to share this? My husband is really into woodworking, and so he’s a eventually going to make us, like, once we’re out of the military and we’re going to be in Florida, like, full time, he’s going to make a nice big wooden table, like. Like a dining table, and then he’s going to, like, epoxy the top, and you can put things inside and epoxy, and it’ll preserve it. So we’re going to dehydrate both of the placentas and then epoxy them into the dining table, which I know might sound really weird, but it’s. I don’t know. We’re not going to have any more kids. And I’m like, I want to save them.
Amanda Montalvo [00:27:18]:
I don’t just want to bury them somewhere. They grew our babies, so that’s what we’re going to do. People are going to be like, mama, fall. That’s our plan right now, at least as far as delivering the placenta. Like, the first time, I didn’t have cramping and stuff. I mean, it was probably, like a couple hours, and I still did not feel anything coming soon, so I took herbs to stimulate it the first time, and with elionics, I was like, I need this thing out. And then with Amaia, like, this time, I was, like, ready. Mentally, I was like, I’m probably gonna take the herbs again because it’s just so uncomfortable.
Amanda Montalvo [00:27:54]:
Like, once the placenta’s out, you’re just like, oh. Like, just the most biggest relief ever. Like, she comes out and it’s great, and I’m like, oh, that was, like, so fast for me. I felt like it was like 45 minutes. His birth, I didn’t realize it had been a couple hours. And with Eliana’s birth, I thought it had been like, three days. I was like, it’s only the next day. So I was, like, fully prepared to have to do that, but at once, I, like, I stayed in the tub for a while after I birthed her in the tub.
Amanda Montalvo [00:28:22]:
I probably should have shared that part. I just like, yeah, she came out. I birthed her in the tub. She was under water. The midwife, I. People are definitely going to ask, did you get checks, all that kind of stuff? I did not. When she first got there and I was standing against the counter, I was like, no, no one was allowed inside. And then she was like, can I just come check your blood pressure and listen to Amaia’s heart? So we already knew her name.
Amanda Montalvo [00:28:47]:
And I was like, sure, just this initial one. And then. So she took my blood pressure, she listened to Amaia. Everything sound good? And then after that, she asked me once, I mean, she has to do her due diligence. She knew what I wanted, but she still has to offer, legally, to see if she can listen to the baby’s heart. And I just declined it. And I was like, please do not ask again. And she said, okay, my midwife is the best.
Amanda Montalvo [00:29:14]:
Like, she wants. She empowers her clients, like, so much. She just wants you to have the birth you want, and she reflects on the birth with you after. It’s really cool. I love Laura, and I’m, like, so sad that I’m not going to see her again. But, yeah, so that was like, she came in, that was it. We had no interaction throughout. She just talked to my husband.
Amanda Montalvo [00:29:38]:
And then when I was like, she’s coming. And she was crowning, and I felt down. I felt her head this time, I didn’t do it the first time. I was too scared. I was also standing up with Eliana, so it was, like, awkward. And so I felt her head, and I was like, oh, my God, she’s right there. And I had to do everything in me not to push. I had to continue to relax my pelvic floor.
Amanda Montalvo [00:29:55]:
And it was so hard once she was crowning and I could feel her head, but I was like, I didn’t want to tear. I’m like, I’m going to do this. And then her head came out, and then the next contraction, the rest of her body came out. That’s what happened with Eliana, too. I guess that’s not normal. I guess they’re supposed to come out in one. I don’t know. My midwife never said anything, and everything was fine during it, but her head came out, and I almost lifted my butt up, and my husband had to push it back down, because once she gets air, you can’t put them back under the water.
Amanda Montalvo [00:30:25]:
And so that’s why I wanted my midwife there just to make sure that if anything were to get weird, like, that she can tell him exactly what to do. We know what to do in our heads. But, like, for me, I didn’t even realize that I took my butt out of the water or that I was about to. And so he just shoved my butt down. I was like, oh, my gosh, I totally forgot. Thank God he did that, because that could have led to a bunch of issues. So. And then he was behind me because I was still leaning against tub at this point.
Amanda Montalvo [00:30:51]:
He was not in the tub. He’s a very large person. Like, we would not both fit in the tub. And so then he caught her. At first, she was still under the water, and then he pushed her under me, and then I picked her up and put her on my chest and laid back in the tub and was like, finally. But also, that was crazy. That was so fast. It was so wild.
Amanda Montalvo [00:31:10]:
But I was like, thank God it’s over and she’s here. And she looked just like Eliana when she first came out. It was really creepy. I was like, did I just give birth to the same kid? And then once things, like, chilled for a couple hours, I was like, she looks so different now, like, immediately. And she looks just like my husband. Like, literally, she’s his twin. So it was really fun. It was really nice to have my husband, like, very involved in the birth, and we did it on our own.
Amanda Montalvo [00:31:37]:
The midwife was there supervising, making sure nothing negative happened. She offered to check me to do the heart rate and everything. I just said, no. I’m like, this baby’s coming. We don’t need to check stuff. Okay, like, she’s coming. So that was. That’s, like, pretty much it.
Amanda Montalvo [00:31:51]:
But I totally forgot to share that because I was, like, so engulfed in the. Just relax your pelvic floor. That was, like, really. That’s all I could. That’s. When I think of her birth, that’s what I think about. But the placenta, after, it was, like, I finally got over to the couch. They, like, had towels and everything all set up.
Amanda Montalvo [00:32:07]:
They put down those, like, pads so that they’re. It’s, like, bleeding and all that stuff. Initially, after, when you birth, the placenta, like, nothing gets dirty. And then I was, like, laying there for. It probably hadn’t been that long. And Amaia nursed. She latched right away. I cried because I was, like, so nervous.
Amanda Montalvo [00:32:25]:
I was like, man, if we have to go through this again, I don’t know. And she latched right away, and she ate constantly for two days, and my milk came in the second day because this girl would not let up. She was like, give me that milk. And so I think because she was nursing so strongly right away, I got so much cramping, and it was insane. And then I thought I was going to take the herbs again, but I was like, oh, my gosh, I think I’m going to birth the placenta now. And it came, like, pretty fast, probably, like, within an hour after she was born. My midwife didn’t tug on it or anything. She did check it once initially just to make sure it was still attached, and there was nothing weird going on.
Amanda Montalvo [00:33:05]:
But then after that, she wanted to just wait. I was like, yeah, I’m already having cramping. So delivered the placenta. It hurts so much. It’s, like, the worst part also, because you’re not getting a baby out of it, right? You’re just, like, trying to get this last thing out of you so that it did hurt a lot. And plus I tore, so it hurt. And I’m like, just. And then we had her still going.
Amanda Montalvo [00:33:27]:
She was attached to it still for, I think, a couple hours. And then finally I was like, is it done? Pulsating and stuff? And it was. So we. Ian cut the cord just like the first time, and then she was just, like, on my chest. We were nursing, chilling on the couch for a really long time, and then we just saved the placenta. Stick it in the freezer. Yeah. I don’t need it because I just don’t.
Amanda Montalvo [00:33:50]:
I just don’t want to. I don’t know. I think I just don’t need it. I’ve had a lot of clients that have tried to have it, like, right after, and it actually led to a lot of unwanted symptoms and, like, mood swings and stuff. And then I’ve had clients that, like, utilize it later on, and it helps their milk supply. I just don’t know what it is. But I’m like, I have no desire to eat this, so I’m not going to. It’s just an intuitive feeling, and I.
Amanda Montalvo [00:34:11]:
I try to listen to that always, so don’t have a real reason, but I would think about it. Like, do you get. You can definitely have it set up to get it encapsulated. Like, I know people that have done that and then just didn’t have the capsules, and that’s fine. You’re at least prepared for it, but then ultimately, like, you can decide, or you could just wait. Like, I always just wait. And then if I want to have it encapsulated. I’m like, you have to freeze it anyway.
Amanda Montalvo [00:34:35]:
So I’m like, I can have it done if I want to, I’ll reach out to someone. But either time I just was like, nah, I’m good. And then what was the other thing I was going to? Oh. People asked how I involved Eliana, so she was outside with my mom all day. And remember, this happened within a couple hours. So I was really only away from her briefly. Once Amaia came out, I sat in that bird tub for a little while, not sure how long, but I didn’t get up right away because I was like, I just need to sit here and be here. And so after a few minutes, my mom and Eliana came in and they got to meet her.
Amanda Montalvo [00:35:08]:
And Eliana was just like, what is that? Like, I want nothing to do with that. We’re like, this is your little sister. And she understood. She was constantly talking about baby sister when I was pregnant. And then she came out and she was like, no, thank you. And honestly, she hasn’t, like, really warmed up. She, like, just recently really warmed up to Amaia. And I think it’s because she’s not so fragile now, because as of recording this, she’s about ten and a half weeks, so she can just do more with her.
Amanda Montalvo [00:35:34]:
She helps her with tummy time, she rolls her over and stuff. So I think that just has made her make it a little more fun for her. But now she’s used to her, she’s a guard, she’s sticking around. So I guess I should probably get used to this baby. But it was not like all magical. A lot of people, people have at first, not at all. And thank God my mom was there. She stayed for a couple days, so she left on Tuesday.
Amanda Montalvo [00:35:57]:
So she stayed for two days after Amaia was born. And that was really nice. And then we were like, okay, we have to get into a routine. And Eliana was just like, she loves my mom so much that she doesn’t. She just basically was ignoring the fact that she now had a sister. It was hilarious. I was like, okay, mommy, you have to go. Even though I don’t want you to go.
Amanda Montalvo [00:36:17]:
Cause I love having you here. I’m like, you have to go so that Eliana will actually hang out with us. Because when Memo’s here, it’s like Mima’s it. So that’s how we incorporated her. Not a ton. If she were older, I think I would have tried to do more, but I mostly was like, I’m in a lot of pain. I think she will be scared of seeing me that way. And I didn’t want to stress myself about stressing about her and then have that delay anything with the birth, because it just happened so quickly.
Amanda Montalvo [00:36:44]:
If it had taken longer and she needed to come back in the house and stuff, I think I obviously would have been, like, welcoming to that, but because it wasn’t something I had to think about and all happened so quickly, I was hoping I was gonna birth her at night, honestly, and that she would just wake up with a sibling, but it happened during the day, so. But it was nice, because then we all just went to bed at normal time that night and caught sleep. It was, like, so nice. And then the comparison of the two births, I feel like I’ve gone through that quite a bit. What was the most helpful support that Ian gave? He’s my husband, and he honestly, he just listened to me and made it so that I didn’t have to talk to anyone, because I didn’t. It’s just so hard when you’re trying to navigate that while you’re in that zone. I mean, I don’t even know what’s going on when I’m birthing. I’m just, like, in the zone.
Amanda Montalvo [00:37:31]:
Focusing on that only. So to have to, like, answer questions and stuff, it just would be way too much for me personally. And so we had many conversations about what I wanted the birth to look like. How is this going to be the most successful and safe birth possible? And that meant that I didn’t want to really communicate. I didn’t want anyone in the house that didn’t need to be there. And he knew everything that I wanted, and he was able to talk with our midwife. So it’s. I think it’s really nice knowing that you have that support and that you’re like, okay, I don’t have to worry about anything, and I don’t worry about Eliana, because he.
Amanda Montalvo [00:38:04]:
Him and my mom are very close, so he’ll know exactly what we should do with her. I really didn’t have to worry about anything else, and I think that’s the best gift that he could have given me. And then the last question is, aftercare must haves. So I mentioned the sits bath. I really enjoyed this, and it’s, if you have the capacity and ability to get up. I just got one of those sits baths from Amazon, and I would sit on the toilet and do it. And usually I was nursing Amaia. The other thing that I really was like, I got them and I wasn’t sure how much I was going to use them or love them, but I’m like, now I get them for everyone that is having a baby.
Amanda Montalvo [00:38:42]:
It’s the herbs from milk moon herbs. They have a variety pack, or, like, a postpartum pack, I think it’s called. And it has all their herb blends for postpartum, so they have a blend for. It’s called the Milky Way, and it helps in milk production, and it really works. And so I, like, wish I didn’t take that at first, because my milk tends to come in really strong, and I have, like, way too much until it regulates, and then finally, I have a normal amount of breast milk. So that was, I would don’t take it unless you really need it. I took it because I wanted it to come in. She would not stop nursing, and then it came in way too hot.
Amanda Montalvo [00:39:20]:
Worse than last time. And I do use it, like, at night sometimes, like, when your milk supplies usually last at night. So, like, before we go to bed, sometimes I’ll take it if she’s really wanting to eat again. And it’s. There’s not a ton going on, and it works. The other blend that they have is called no worries, and it’s, like, nervous system support. I used that a lot in the first couple weeks because I had such a hard time with the transition to not being with Eliana every second that I was like, I need to chill out. And obviously, like, I used other skills to do that, but it was really.
Amanda Montalvo [00:39:53]:
It was like, the taking the herbs was like, a reminder. Like, I would take them, I’d feel a little calmer, and then I’d be like, okay, now I can do some breath work, chill out on the couch with the Maya, and try not to worry. So I really like that blend. And then they have one. It’s called. I think it’s give me a dream. And that one puts you to sleep like crazy. I used it a couple times, and I.
Amanda Montalvo [00:40:13]:
The first time I used, I had crazy dreams. The second time, I didn’t. But it really does help you sleep. I don’t really use it unless I feel wired at night. And in the beginning, some of the nights, I did feel more wired because I was waking up with her a lot. But then once we got on more of a routine, I didn’t need it. But it is really nice, especially if you are. If you’re, like, with Eliana, I would have used it a lot because we had a very stressful initial postpartum.
Amanda Montalvo [00:40:38]:
So I wish I had these last time I did have their. They have the cherry tart, cherry blend that goes in your fridge that comes with it. You just use that on a daily basis. That’s. It has, like, blood building herbs in it, and then they. What’s the other one? No worries. The Milky Way give me a dream. And then, oh, it’s like they have a mood boosting one.
Amanda Montalvo [00:41:01]:
Cloud nine, it’s called. I didn’t take that one because I didn’t feel like I needed it, but I mostly just took that. No worries. The nervous system one, but they had one. If you’re having, like, postpartum blues and stuff, it’s really cool. And honestly, all of my bottles are almost gone. Like, I used a lot of it, so not cheap, but you get four full bottles worth. And then that.
Amanda Montalvo [00:41:23]:
The big size of the blood building herbs, which are really nice postpartum. And I’m hoping I’ll have less hair loss. I didn’t have a ton of hair loss last time, not until ten months. So I’m hoping I won’t have any or, like, very minimal this time, but we’ll see the last thing that I’ll share because I don’t think you need a ton. But it’s like the sits bath is nice, especially if you tear the herbs. The postpartum herbs are very supportive, and it just made me feel, like, really cared for. Like, I had them in my, this little, like, caddy that I had with, like, diaper changing stuff for Amaia. And so it’s like it was always right there if I needed it.
Amanda Montalvo [00:41:55]:
And I did utilize it a lot. The last thing that I enjoyed was body bow underwear. I don’t know if I’m saying that right. I’m going to link all this stuff, so don’t worry. But they’re basically, like, they’re not like compression, but they’re. They help pull your belly in, so they basically give your belly support that doesn’t hurt your pelvic floor because they’re not. When you want to, if you want to be mindful, your pelvic floor. Postpartum, I didn’t do belly binding because I was too scared that it was going to mess with my pelvic floor.
Amanda Montalvo [00:42:26]:
And I was like, I like to shower a lot, so I would have had to take it off every time and I probably wouldn’t put it back on. So I found these undies instead. And they’re basically like, they give you support from the bottom up. You never want to have anything that’s pushing anything down, and they’re really gentle, but it feels so nice right after when your belly’s still big and swollen and everything. Like, it took a lot longer for my belly to go down this time, even though I gained way less weight with this birth. My belly was huge, but she was huge. I mean, she was like almost 22 inches long. And so it felt really nice to have the support after.
Amanda Montalvo [00:43:05]:
And they’re expensive. I got three pairs because I bought one pair. You can wear them when you’re pregnant too. I was like, I don’t want to stretch these out too much. Like, I want them to be as tight as they can but not mess with my pelvic floor, but still give me support after so you can wear them when you’re pregnant. I didn’t, but I tried them on when I was pregnant. I was like, oh, these are. I get why people buy these now.
Amanda Montalvo [00:43:27]:
And I didn’t do anything like that the first time and it was just really nice and I would, and I wish I did it the first time so I could have used them twice because now I have three pairs that were expensive and I’m not going to use them again. But they are really nice, they’re really soft, great quality. I washed them like a million times and they look no different. I used them honestly for the first, probably six weeks after I gave birth, and they just felt so nice on your belly. So I’ll link those as well. But those are like my. And then silverettes. If you’ve never used silverettes, I’ll put the link for that too.
Amanda Montalvo [00:43:59]:
I talked about this last time, but they’re like, they’re basically little. I have a video of Eliana putting one on her head and she’s calling it a hat. So funny. I cannot wait to show her when she’s older and be like, this is a nipple shield, but it’s like these little silver nipple shields that go over and basically. So, like, last time, I didn’t order them right away because I didn’t know about them. My IBclc told me about them last time after I was already having issues and like, nipple pain. This time I was like, I’m putting these puppies on right away. So whenever Amaia was not nursing, my nipples recovered.
Amanda Montalvo [00:44:32]:
You just put a little bit of breast milk in them, put them on your nipples. And then I just wear like a shirt postpartum. I don’t wear the bras, I don’t like them. I feel like it constricts my breasts and I have crazy milk supply initially, so, like, nothing fits anyway, and so I just wear, like, tighter tank tops, and that keeps the silverettes in place for me, and I’m comfortable. I also don’t like the bras because I don’t. I’m like, I don’t want to get mastitis, any clogged ups. So I’m like, how can I keep these limp supported? And that’s what I prefer. Body Bell also has, like, really nice tank tops and stuff.
Amanda Montalvo [00:45:05]:
I got two of them and I still wear them even though I’m not, like, immediate postpartum. But they’re. That’s like, how they are. It’s like, you get so support, but it’s like, you don’t have to wear a bra, so it’s really nice. I, like, never wear a bra. I don’t know. Pretty much never. That’s just, like, what I prefer.
Amanda Montalvo [00:45:23]:
I also don’t have really large breasts, so I don’t have to worry about it as much. But postpartum, I just can’t do it. So highly recommend basically everything on their website. It is expensive, actually. I’ll share a coupon code. My first doula. Gina mama stay fit on Instagram, it’s like 25% off. That’s one of another thing that encouraged me to purchase from them.
Amanda Montalvo [00:45:47]:
I was like, well, I can get a huge discount. And all the things you’ll have forever, obviously, you may not use all them again. They also have these compression. What are they? They’re like, like leggings. And those are serious. And they felt so good when you’re. They just, like, feel so nice to have the support on your belly after you give birth and after you’ve had this big belly for so long. The compression pants are amazing.
Amanda Montalvo [00:46:10]:
I wore those again, like, the first six weeks. It felt really good. So I highly recommend everything from there. I’ll put the code for my friend Gina mama stay fit. So you can get 25% off. I’m pretty sure it’s good, like, forever. But the silverettes, if you’re going to breastfeed, just get them in advance. I just sent them to someone on my team that’s having a baby because I was like, okay, can I send you a gift? And that’s.
Amanda Montalvo [00:46:33]:
That’s what it is, because you need it. It heals your nipples so much faster than. I mean, I did everything last time because Eliana had such a bad latch. I did all of it, and the silverettes were the number one thing, and they were the easiest. So keep it easy, keep it effective. They are $60, but I’m telling you it’s the best money you’ll ever spend. But mostly I’m like, put it on your registry. Or if someone asks you, what can I get you? Tell them these kinds of things.
Amanda Montalvo [00:47:00]:
I want the sits bath, or I want a gift card to body buy to get body ba whatever to get these postpartum underwear or the compression pants, whatever. I want a gift card for milk moon herbs, or send them the link for it. I feel like we’re always getting stuff for the baby, and it’s like, the baby doesn’t. The baby needs you, your nervous system, your boobs, and whatever kind of diaper you plan to do. That’s really it. Postpartum. Especially the immediate postpartum. So I’m like, I feel like the first time, I’m like, I wish I didn’t even do a registry, honestly.
Amanda Montalvo [00:47:32]:
And nothing that I really needed was on it. So that’s what I recommend, putting on your registry. Put things are actually useful on there so that because I often will get people be like, oh, it’s expensive. And then I say that and they’re like, oh, my gosh, I never even thought to do that because everything’s like, for the baby. I’m like, you are for the baby. And so therefore people should get gifts for you. That’s how I think about it, at least. But those are my postpartum must haves, the things that really helped me, and I felt very cared for and stuff this time.
Amanda Montalvo [00:48:00]:
Less stress and stuff. And that’s really it. That’s Amaia’s birth story. It was fast and furious. A lot of false starts, but she’s here, and she’s an adorable little chunk, and we’re obsessed with her. It is not easy being a mom of two, but it’s getting a lot easier. And. And I just try to have fun every single day, even when it’s really hard.
Amanda Montalvo [00:48:23]:
So all the next episode, I’m going to talk about tips for thriving postpartum, and I’m going to go through a bunch of stuff that hopefully will help people. But again, it’s. Everyone’s going to have their own experience. I mean, I had a really easy birthday time, so my postpartum has been really easy. Mine is my developing reflux, which I will do a podcast episode. It is a saga. It’s getting better. I’m learning way too much more than I ever wanted to learn about baby reflux, but I know it’s going to help me help other moms, so I’m just taking it all in.
Amanda Montalvo [00:48:51]:
But she’s more comfortable and we’re doing better. It’s just like that. It didn’t happen right away. It didn’t happen two months. So, yeah, I will do a postpartum episode next as well and dig into things that can support you. But it’s like, with anything else, like, if something feels really good and you’re like, wow, this was so helpful. But then maybe something else I say, you’re like, oh, I can’t do that because of X XYZ. A lot of times it’s like that kind of feeling can come up.
Amanda Montalvo [00:49:16]:
I know that feeling. And, oh, it’s lucky that she can do that and stuff. I can’t do that. Leave whatever you can’t do. Leave whatever doesn’t sound good to you, or leave whatever sounds like it’s going to stress you out and just take the helpful things. Because I think a lot of times, like, what I’ve encountered for moms is that they are the most caring and, like, intelligent people, but they take a lot of things very personally because they take being a mom very serious. So then, and it’s like their whole life. So then it’s, you give, you say one thing, and it’s, well, I can’t do that in x, y, Z.
Amanda Montalvo [00:49:53]:
It’s okay. Well, what can we do then? Or just don’t listen to that piece of information, because I never want something I shared to make anyone feel bad. But I also, whenever I have those kind of feelings, I challenge myself. I’m like, well, why do I feel that way? Could I do it? What’s the reason I can’t do it? Or, like, why do I not want to? Is it, like, a little triggering for me? What is it making me think about? So it’s helpful to reflect, because it’s like, I just always think about how I want to be better. I want to be a better mom, a better practitioner, a better wife, better daughter, friend. And I just think sometimes with this social media world, it’s really easy to feel aggressive towards content someone shares, and it’s just reflect on it. Take what works for you, leave what doesn’t. It’s not that serious.
Amanda Montalvo [00:50:41]:
I shared this birth story isn’t. Obviously, it was incredible, but it’s just my birth story, and it’s okay if you didn’t have the same birth. There’s no better birth. They’re all amazing, and they’re all going to help us be the best moms that we can be. But that’s it. I’ll do the postpartum episode next I hope you guys enjoyed this and I’ll see you in the next episode. Thank you for listening to this episode of the are you mentioned menstrual podcast. If you want to support my work, please leave a review and let me know how you like the episode.
Amanda Montalvo [00:51:11]:
This lets me know like, what you guys want more of less of. I read every single one and I appreciate them more than you know. If you want to keep learning, you can get access to the bonus episode and additional resources on patreon.com hormone healingrd. I’d love to have you in there. Thanks again and I will see you in the next episode.
