I didn’t really know what to expect after having Eliana. I knew that taking care of her was going to be challenging and amazing all at once but until you’re in it, you don’t know what it truly looks like. The first few days after birth were amazing. I was definitely on a hormonal high and then we noticed that Eliana almost seemed lethargic. While she was brand new and we expected her to sleep a lot, she went from moving around a good amount to barely making much movement at all. We were really freaked out. I was still so new to breastfeeding and wasn’t totally sure if she was getting enough. Although she was having a lot of wet diapers and pooping a ton, we called our midwife even though we just had an appointment with her and set up a lactation consult with one of the birth team members. During this consult, we went through proper latching and played around with different positions with Eliana to see what would work. I was in a lot of pain when she tried to latch properly and we discovered she had a lip and tongue tie AKA oral restrictions.
When we were told that Eliana had a lip and tongue tie and that was the reason she could not latch well I immediately started doing a ton of research. We were given exercises to help loosen her up but were also told that her best option was to have revision surgery. This involves a laser that goes through the tie and a lot of corrective exercise work after. The thought of putting my 4 day-old baby through surgery didn’t feel right to me. Although we found a great provider about an hour and a half from us that did seem like he had a more holistic approach to ties, even what I was reading on the website didn’t make me feel more comfortable. Most people have to get the revision done multiple times, even if all of the corrective exercises are done properly. To put Eliana through that pain (not to mention they have to hold her down) possibly multiple times as our first approach to helping her latch just didn’t sit right with me. I was nervous to tell my husband how I felt since he was very pro revision at the time. We made the appointment and everything and then two days before I was laying with her and I started crying. I finally told my husband that we can’t do it and that we have to try something else first. If she still couldn’t latch well after trying other interventions, then we could do it, but it didn’t feel right going right for that and it definitely didn’t feel holistic.
Eliana’s Tongue Tie
We ended up taking Eliana to our chiropractor and found a local cranial sacral therapist (both were about 40 minutes away from where we live). We did a few appointments with them and were given exercises and stretches to do with her at home. We were very diligent and at our 2-week postpartum appointment, she was back to her birth weight. I was still in a lot of pain from breastfeeding but felt convicted that things were going in the right direction so we kept on. After 6 weeks of working with her on a daily basis and continuing to work on her latch, I was pretty much pain-free for the most part. I tried all the nipple care but the silverettes worked best for me plus salt soaks. All I did for the salt soak was fill my haakaas with warm water and 1/2 tsp sea salt then soak my nipples for one minute. I did that twice a day and it was really helpful.
I got a lot of pushback when I didn’t want to get her ties revised. I listened to this episode of the Freely Rooted Podcast and found Michale Chatham and did her course Midline Revolution. It was really helpful to learn more about the history of ties and how just because someone has a tie doesn’t mean it is tight. I will say that Eliana’s were definitely tight when she was first born, but now they are so much better. Her lip has full flexibility now and her tongue tie is a lot thinner. She can also touch her tongue to the roof of her mouth now and hold it there even when I opened her jaw. Both of which she could not do when she was first born. It’s pretty amazing what we were able to accomplish in 6 weeks. We brought her to her first pediatrician appointment and they agreed she is healthy and her ties do not look tight. They did not recommend revision and said we will monitor her speech as she gets older to see if it’s necessary in the future. At the time I’m writing this she is 11 weeks and is 15lb and breastfeeding is pain-free! A truly healthy and happy baby that I am so grateful for.
***If your child had a tie and got it revised and that worked for your family–that’s great! I’m sharing my postpartum story and what worked for us with Eliana’s oral restrictions. The severity of the tightness will of course change a baby’s plan of care. Luckily, we were able to work with the amount of tightness that Eliana had and still breastfeed.***
Breastfeeding a baby with oral restrictions is painful. This made my breastfeeding journey a little less glamorous than I thought it would be and a lot more challenging mentally. I was pretty stressed about Eliana’s weight from the beginning when they said she lost over a pound from birth. Instead of relying on our appointments with our birth team for her weight, we purchased a scale to have at home. This let me weigh her a few times a week and know that she was steadily gaining weight. It also was a lot more reliable since the birth team was using a different scale at each visit. Weighing her at home gave me peace of mind.
I went through a ton of nipple care products as I mentioned above but swear by the Silverettes. I will gift these to every pregnant friend I have forever!
One thing I will do differently next time when it comes to breastfeeding is not stress about pumping. MAN! I do not like pumping, to say the least. I was told to make sure I pump because of Eliana’s poor latch but I really think it just did more harm than good when it came to my nipples. Pumping is not nipple rest (in my opinion)–the pump hurt my nipples more than Eliana did. *Remember, this is my experience. I’m not telling anyone not to pump. You want to talk with your lactation consultant and figure out what’s best.* I just think that pumping added more stress to our situation and it was exhausting. I was feeding Eliana every 1.5 hours then pumping on top of that. It was madness. My nipples were a mess, I wasn’t sleeping, and neither was my husband. We finally got to a point where we decided what we were doing wasn’t working. Instead of slowing down and tuning in to what we thought Eliana needed, we were listening to everyone around us. While outside input from experts can be helpful, ultimately, when it comes to you and your baby you know what’s best. The first 6 weeks of breastfeeding were very stressful, but it has luckily taken a complete turn and is now something I really enjoy. If I could give any advice, it would be to follow your intuition and give yourself 6 weeks for things to even out.
Making progress!
Figuring out the whole sleep thing has been interesting. Currently, we all sleep great but it was a bit of a process getting there. At first, I was waking Eliana to feed at night every two hours since she lost so much weight and was having difficulty breastfeeding. The whole process took forever–waking her up was not easy and then it would take her about 30 minutes to eat since she would fall asleep and I’d have to wake her. That was a very stressful time. I continued to wake her until she was about 6 weeks. I did wait until the 3-hour mark once she was 12lb and I wasn’t as worried. Then after 6 weeks, I started waiting 4 hours and finally once she was 8 weeks I let her sleep until she woke up. She still woke up after 4-5 hours and then every 2-3 after that. That may sound exhausting, but now that her ties aren’t tight she can easily do side-lying nursing. This allows us both to only wake up slightly then she will eat usually for about 10-15 minutes then we both go back to sleep. We have co-slept since she was born and will continue to do so since it’s what works for us. I also really enjoy it. Napping is another story! She has napped on me or my husband since the beginning. She did take some naps on her own in her bassinet at first but quickly stopped that. Now we have a good routine of her taking her first nap on me after she falls asleep in her carrier on our morning walk. Then she will nap in her bassinet for her other 2-3 naps. It takes a bit to get her down (I nurse her to sleep then rock for 10 minutes–so about 20 minutes total) but then she sleeps for another hour so to me it is worth it, plus she is a very happy girl when she wakes up.
I always knew I wanted to co-sleep with her. I personally feel it’s what we both need especially during the fourth trimester and first 9 months of life since she still thinks she is a part of me. While I may be helping to regulate her nervous system, I believe she is also regulating mine. Typically by the end of her naps, I am ready for her to be up, even if I still have things to do. I start to miss her especially if it’s a longer 2-hour nap, which is so crazy because I am always so relieved when she goes down by herself because it means I can do some work or chores around the house. That dilemma pretty much describes motherhood for me so far–I always want to be with her but I also want to do other things. It’s wild!
I had a few tears from birth that were completely healed by the time I was 5 weeks and went to see my pelvic floor PT. I had a few areas of tightness in my pelvic floor but those have continued to improve as I work on my pelvic floor breathing and slowly incorporate more movement. I have felt great postpartum for the most part (as good as you can feel without a ton of sleep). I credit this to the rest I took during the first 4 weeks. The first seven days I didn’t get out of bed except to pee or shower. I didn’t want to get out of bed either so I went with that. After that we had some appointments for Eliana so I did get up and leave the house but not very often. I still took it easy with mostly just taking care of Eliana during this time. My husband did pretty much everything around the house. After 4 weeks I started walking with her and then slowly introduced movement via BirthFit training. It was all really for recovery for the first 60 days, which again, I think helped my body rest, restore, and heal. I wish every mom could stay in bed for the first week postpartum. I think it would help avoid many health issues down the road. If there’s one piece of advice I could give, that would be it. Make a plan with your partner or a family member and stay in bed with your baby doing skin to skin and resting.
Since about 9 weeks postpartum I have started to feel more confident and less overwhelmed with taking care of both myself and Eliana plus our two dogs. My husband has been so helpful but he deploys in a couple of days as of the time I’m writing this newsletter. I was really nervous for his deployment when we got the news when I was about 6 weeks postpartum, but luckily I finally feel like we are in a routine that is sustainable. Eliana can do more independent play (which is so fun to watch from afar), which allows me to do things that I can’t do while holding her or having her in the carrier. I’ve figured out how to feed myself enough which who knew would be so difficult. It requires food prep on Sundays and some planning but it is totally worth it since I feel so much better.
I also found a part-time nanny that is a great fit for our family and who will help me a few days a week starting in August. This will allow me to start working for consistently again and start doing office hours and guest experts in the Hormone Healing Membership again. I’m also sure I will need the break since my husband will be deployed. I’m excited to start working more but also a little sad not to spend all day every day with my girl. I mean, look at her!
A healthy, chunky Eliana at 10 weeks!
Overall, I feel really good postpartum, Eliana is healthy and no longer has feeding issues, and we are getting into a routine. It took a good 10 weeks for that to all happen though, so if you are newly postpartum or are due soon, just know that it will even out eventually. I recorded an entire postpartum episode with my husband where he shared his perspective as a Dad, you can listen to that here!
Here are a few other resources to help you during your postpartum period.
Podcast episodes:
Blog Posts:
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